- Do you limit phone calls after a particular time at night for your teenagers?
- Do you hear; "But mom, everyone else can talk after ......, and they're busy before then."?
- What time is "No more talking or calling?"
- What time is bedtime for your grade school kids?
- What time is bedtime for your teenagers?
- Do you have different times on these for weekdays, weekends, or summer?
My kids do not like to go to bed at night, any of them, so it is an issue with all ages.
On school nights:
My 3 younger ones, 7, 9 & 11 are SUPPOSE to go to bed at 9.
My two older ones, 14 & 17 are SUPPOSE to go to bed at 10 (Whether they go to bed/sleep after they are in their rooms, is beyond my control. They still have to get up in the morning.)
We have an on-going issue at our house of time to be off the phone & computer at night.
Currently on school nights, the phone & computer is done at 9:30 p.m. Can anyone convince me why I should allow phone calls after that time? I constantly get "but I didn't get to talk long enough earlier, I didn't get the phone until..., My friend was busy until now.....
hmmmm...can't help you! are you struggling with this issue?
ReplyDeletei talked to my hubby to be for hours at night when i was a teen. it was long distance and my parents graciously covered the bills...why??!? i have no idea!! we did take turns calling though...about 50/50.
my toddlers go to bed anywhere from 7-9 depending upon moods, naps, etc. but i don't think this is beneficial info for you!!
I probably won't be much help - my teenagers mostly text their friends so not a lot of phone time for them. Bedtime during the week is pretty much up to them but no later than 10:30 if possible.
ReplyDeleteOur little girls talk to their friends - but not usually after 8 - which is when we start bedtime routine for them.
Our kids have to be on the bus by 7 in the morning, so they don't stay up too late.
Weekends - teens have a 12 curfew - if they have a valid reason to be out later (which we determine before they leave - not that they call and ask for an extension at 12). Little kids usually stay up until 9 on weekends or during the summer.
The phone isn't an issue at our house yet. As far as bedtimes...they get to go to bed whenever they want (ages 12, 10 & almost 8)...however there is a catch. They have to leave us alone after about 8:30 PM and they can stay up as long as they like as long as we cannot hear them but they have to get up at a certain time...so it's up to them how much sleep they want to get. Believe me, they'll only stay up late a few times and then they learn they need the sleep...it works great AND they think they are in total control! :)
ReplyDeleteHello Maxine! great to see you have a blog although I thought it wasn't you until I saw pictures, family of 5? diane? what? yeah, everyone goes to bed at 9. probably should be earlier for the little ones but it's so much easier to get them all to bed at once, then little ones can take a nap or sleep in.....great to connect with you!
ReplyDeleteRebecca Clark
xanga.com/cuddlebaby
No teenagers yet, so not struggling with the phone issue yet, but let me know what you come up with as we're only a few years away, I'm sure. As for bedtime? School nights they shower around or before 8, read books to unwind and then it's off to bed after a snack (we shoot for 9 p.m. as they are up at 6:30 for school). Of coase it doesn't work on Wed. nights, but we do the showers before mtg. then it's pj time when we get home and to bed a little later. We shut down the computer at 8 when they shower, so there's no problems with that, but they do like their Nintendo DS's a little too much, so we've made a rule that there are no DS games during the school week. Good luck with the struggle...you're not alone!:)
ReplyDeleteRebecca is our night-owl and would love to stay up late every night. As long as she's in bed by 8:30 or 9:00 I don't have a problem. She likes to read for awhile and she always turns her little light out when she's done.
ReplyDeleteThe boys need more sleep than she does so they go to bed easily by 8:30...no later than 9:00.
We don't have the phone problem yet, and the computer usually is off-limits to them after supper. By then Daddy's home so they're fine with that.
oh well- guess I can't be a whole lot of help after all. Can tell you what it was like at our house though. There was no limit to how late or how long on the phone- except that we knew 'long' was not an option; don't remember getting late calls but I don't think it would have been tolerated. When Mom and Dad told us to get off the phone, we had to.
ReplyDeleteBedtimes- always an issue. Dad is a night owl, too, so it was hard to get us to go to bed- but we always had stuff in the am before school and we were expected to do it. 10 was sort of the time to go- but I don't remember actually being in bed at 10 very often...
The excuses? Ha- I used them on my folks; don't remember them working all that well.
I remember needing to talk to Mom a few times when my bro and future sil were on the phone- they would tie it up for a long time! SIL-to-be had call-waiting, so we could use that option to get them to hang up long enough for us to do what we needed to do. Before cell phones, obviously...
I don't see anything unreasonable in your limits...
It's been a while since I had to deal with these issues...and like some others...cell phones...even computers were not available when I was raising my children, so I never had to figure out how to deal with them. Sounds like you got some helpful input from others and that you are dealing very wisely with your situation. We all just do the best we can with what we know. Somehow we and our kids survive it. ; )
ReplyDeleteIt all seems reasonable to me. With a large # of kids I'd think the big issue regarding phone calls would be sharing the time. Maybe a notepad by the phone with documentation of all calls would help with even distribution of time..siblings are usually good at keeping tabs on each other. : )
ReplyDeleteI wish I could tell you we had this all solved and under control, but truth is, we deal with it, too. Not bad... at all... just the whole assessment of sharing time, what's fair, what's excessive, what takes priority, etc. Especially with the computer time. Phone isn't a problem here, except the continual reminders that my kids are the ONLY kids in their WHOLE school who don't have cell phones and who don't have unlimited texting plans. (They've taken polls!!)
ReplyDeleteBed times are fairly consistent... School nights, we usually read a chapter together at or around 9:00 and when we're done it's considered time to head "toward" bed... and finally lights out around 9:30-9:45. Weekends, we pretty much let them get to bed on their own and they're usually all out by 10:30-11 unless we all decide to watch a movie together.
But, none are dating, or driving yet, so that could all change within the next few months. And then I'll come knocking on your door, Maxine, asking for your seasoned advice.
Oh my!! Do I ever have all the answers for you!! LOL Don't we all wish!!
ReplyDeleteIt is beginning to change around here! Our oldest is now an adult and still at home - so once in a while I do encourage her to get her sleep - so she doesn't get sick ... but she works and her shift is swing! So ...!
What they (the two oldest) would like to convince their dad of is the need for each to have their own cell phone instead of sharing! Oh, well! I already notice tho' the bill is getting pushed to the limit, so unlikely they'll convince him!
Bed time - youngest is 7 1/2 - 8:00 bedtime but he usually spends a 1/2 hour reading with dad after this. I'm fairly firm tho with him as he's been really sick every winter since he's started school. The other three it's usually 10:00. Can't say I have too much trouble with this - as the 2 older ones are out of the house shortly after 7.
I do get fidgetty about the amount of time they spend on the computer. Dad can too but he often joins them! This is spring break and I just sent them all to the school to run off some energy - we'll have an early supper and head out for the evening.
(Note: I haven't had to deal with a bf or gf for one of our kids while still in school - so can't say I can give you any tips! But Jay and I have told the kids no matter their age as long as they live at home they will respect the rules of the house! Even if it's one that comes as a result of a new situation! They don't have to like it but they do have to be respectful about it and do it!) Also - wishing you luck! and do share what helps!
Amy & Karen, I'm glad to know we're not the only parents who's kids don't have their own cell phones. We don't have a problem with the kids using our phones, and their friends are on the same plan or we put them on our circle, so that's not an issue. Our main problem seems to come with friends who call "after hours" and the kids who want to call or talk "after hours". At one time we had a bf who would call at midnight!
ReplyDelete(of course he had HIS own cell phone...)
But, we don't have a house phone, and when I'm ready for bed or even MY time after the kids are suppose to be in bed, I expect my phone to be with me!
I didn't really have phone problems with Mom and Dad, because I didn't spend much time talking on it. Late-night phone calls were NOT appreciated though and so didn't happen often. They/we just dealt with it case-by-case. But, I didn't have a b/f to talk to either.
ReplyDeleteI did NOT have a cell phone in high school! Mom and Dad got me one as a graduation present. Andy does have a cell phone (he's 16) but that's because he started working at 14 and needed to be able to get ahold of Dad to come pick him up and stuff.
Bedtime in elementary for me was 7:30 and then 8:00. High school was around 9:30 or so and would be the same for Andy now (unless he works late). I would read sometimes, but still had to get up early so didn't do that very often. Weekends/vacations/summers were a bit more lenient.
I didn't have a set curfew in high school, because we live out in the country and I didn't spend much time in town. That was also a case-by-case thing...I would ask Dad before I headed out what time he wanted me home that night.
I'm at an interesting point in my life...young enough to remember what it was like to be a teenager, but far enough removed from the high school scene to feel "old" haha
Mom I liked the idea of the pad by the phone for minuets used. They would keep good tabs on each other and maybe it would make their conversations a little more meaningfull unlike all this uhh so what are you doing long pause ummm well not much just sitting talking to you sooo ummmmm hows the weather? Well I don't know I'm in the basement let me go upstairs and check. Well uuuhhhhh I can't really see outside its dark out now but earlier uhhh I think it was nice. I think you get the point.
ReplyDeleteI think you guys should have the phone when you are ready to go to bed and that 10pm is plenty of time to be off of the phone. Guess we really didn't have the computer problem growing up but as long as they have time to get homework resurched before 9-10 I would think that is plenty late enough. I did like the idea you can stay up late but you have to be responsible for how you feel in the morning and still get up on time.
Good luck with this generation.
I'm thinking of going back to a phone with a cord when we have GF/BF situations. Made the conversations quite short and to the point back in "my day." Anyway, I had to be careful of what I said on my end. :)
ReplyDeleteBedtime is always a struggle in our house. I hate to interrupt my evening too early as when I make the trek up the stairs, I usually wind up going to bed also. We have told our kids no cell phones until they are graduated. We had one and it became such a problem that it will not happen again. A whole year of life was wasted texting and talking with a internet love.
ReplyDeleteIt really interferred with family life. Is there some news that you are making invites?
Yup, struggling with the bedtime issue at our house, too! Usually, it's staying up too late using the computer, not talking on the phone, that's the problem!
ReplyDeleteI spent quite a few hours on the phone as a teen with my bf too. However, it was not every night, and I too had to share phone hours with a sister. We had a L O N G phone cord, and would stretch it down the basement stairs as FAAARRRR as it would go, to have some privacy! These kids have no idea what it would be like to have to stay stationary to talk on the phone!! :)
ReplyDeleteBeing a "single parent" in the evening is the pits! I have to do all the mean stuff by myself.
It's a trade off tho, before it was the weekends and that's not fun either!
Hey~you sound like an awsome Mom. Stand your grounds! I like how
ReplyDeleteyour doing it! LOL
corded phone cool idea!
wow..thanks for presenting the question..it's been great reading the comments as well!
ReplyDeletewe've always had later bedtimes around here cuz i used to give the kids naps during the day so they could be up when my husband got home instead of going to bed when he got home! So it has stuck. We eat late, still...but bedtime is soon after eating . 8:30/9 pm.
I don't remember ever having a "bedtime"..probably gave up on me as i'd read into the night no matter if i had school or not.
phone calls...don't have to worry about that YET! And my parents didn't have to worry about htat with me at all..never have been too keen on phones.