"If only I knew"

This is the title of a little book of quotes that I found some years ago.

One of my first and biggest "resolutions" for this year was to do some major scrapbooking.  I have many pages done that need to be placed in albums, but I have even more photos that are mostly sorted and just waiting in boxes or in pocket albums waiting to be scrapbooked. (As I write this, it sounds very repetitious.  I really didn't copy & paste,  haha!  it's an on-going goal and yes, I've accomplished quite a bit so far already this year)

I scrapbook for several reasons.  To preserve the photos is probably one of the minor ones.  I scrapbook for memories.  For mine and for my children's. To remember. I scrapbook for ME. Because it fulfills something within me, creatively & emotionally.

Today I came accross photos of one of my son's 1st. birthday party.  Mostly the photos are of him, with cake, with presents.  There are several with his sisters in it, looking on & "helping" baby brother.
I realized with sadness, there are none of him with his dad or I. None with his brother. None of him with his grandparents, who very faithfully attended & helped celebrate all of my kid's birthdays.
However, I discovered one photo, a close up of him examining a present, and off to the side, in the background, obviously not intended to be a "part" of the picture is his Great Grandpa.

I realized back when I had first went thru and sorted these pictures, that the photo, however in-intentional was the last photo that I have with son and his great grandpa.  It was the last birthday party of his great grandkids that he ever got to attend, as he passed away just 2  months later.

It brings tears to my eyes now thinking of this, because I realize so much more now, looking back on those years that yes, pictures of birthday cake & presents are fun, but it's the people in our lives that grow and change....and leave.  It's the relationships that really meant something, not the forgotten toy or the devoured cake.

It's the reason now that when I take pictures of a child's birthday, I always try to remember to include some shots with parents. Grandparents, Siblings.

I went to find my little book and read thru it. (and remembered yet another scrapbook that is on my "list of want to make")

The title of the book is "If Only I knew"  by Lance Wubbels.

A couple of my favorite quotes that mean alot to me in this book are as follows:

"If Only I Knew".....

This was the last time...the very last time...I would see you, I would take the time to treasure everything about you.

.......I could never share another day with you, I would make the most of every second.

......That I was caught in the trap of living for tomorrow and a future that existed only in my imagination, I would have slowed my pace, drawn boundaries around my work, and taken time for the people I love.

.......That even a child's days are sometimes cut short, I would wish for more long nights of rocking you to sleep.

......That when God closes a door, He opens another.  I would have been less afraid of change and more welcoming of new opportunities and adventures.

And I love how it sums up my feelings about scrapbooking....

"If Only I knew...that my memories of you would be so precious, I would take the time to carefully gather your life story."

The Author writes: 
"Think about it.  Don't allow the regrets of "if only I knew" to be the final marker of your life.  Be swift to love.  Hurry to be kind.  Take the time to make someone feel special.  Freely give hugs & kisses & may "I love you" be often on your lips."



And a last word from my perspective--I love photography, I love beautiful, creative & "perfect" photos. I've had a camera in my hand since my grandpa first gave me a "brownie box camera" when I was about 10. I've had good cameras, cheap ones, bad ones, learned some "how to", applied some of it, simply used Automatic & snapped on most of them. (And I am in no way discounting personal or professional photographers!)  Don't wait for perfection--the lack of a "good" camera.  The lack of knowledge.  Just take the picture!!   It's not the quality of the photograph that will matter in the end, it's the record. We can be pretty disappointed or annoyed about how the photo turned out, but I promise you that 25 years down the road when you pull that dusty out of focus, off centered, discolored photo from wherever you had it stored, that it will be precious!

Favorite things

Sparkly eyes and cute little toesies
fingers in frosting smeared on the faces
Cupcakes for birthdays happy song singing
These are a few of my favorite things.

Brothers and sisters laughing and loving
Family gathering together for meals.
Little girl kisses and chubby hands waving,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Playing with kittens and long country lanes
Warm summer days and pretty green grass
Sunrises, sunsets and hours in-between--
These are a few of my favorite things.

when winter is here
when the sky is gray
when I'm feeling blue 'cuz there's too much to do
 I try to remember my favorite things
and then I'm smiling again.

More July memories

Our July Birthday girls.  Kaela 10 and Kara 12.

 Grandkids!  Neveah & Zander

 Serenity and Zander

 Jeanne came a couple days to help Leon on a job and so I got some Grammie time with Lyrah.
She loved playing with the kitties.  They didn't seem to mind being hauled about by her a bit.

 Goodbye kisses for Grammie & Papa

Come again soon!

Snips & snails & birthday tales

 I am a very happy Grammie.
 Our 3 oldest grandkids are here to visit.  This is the 2nd summer now they all 3 have got to come stay.
It's a little different this year than last because our 3 older "at home" kids are gone else-where visiting and we only have our youngest here.  Youngest, but she is nearly 10 in just a couple more weeks!
Having a 10 yr old around is a good combination with these other 3.  She's not too old to play with them, but old enough to read to them & help keep an eye on them. 

I wish I had a picture of them sitting in their chairs the other night before Bible study.  My sister walked in and said it looked like a scene from some years back.  Just a little Jeanne, Lynisha, Dalayna and Ryan sitting there!  I may have to re-stage it for a photo.

It's been busy days around here.  Hopefully fun ones for the kids too.  I have such wonderful memories of spending summers at my grandparents home, I hope my grandkids can look back on these years with as much enjoyment as I do my memories!  I wasn't fortunate enough to have cousins to spend my summers at my grandparents with, but I did have best friends that lived just down the street and that was a huge part of our enjoyment of spending time at Grandpa & Grandma's.

 Kyrie & Trey spent a  day  very impatiently by themselves before Kaela and Jessi got back here.

 They like to take their shoes off, but leave them on the trampoline & watch them bounce around while they jump.

 The front porch makes some nice shaded outside play for inside toys.

Thursday (June 30) was our first really really hot day and since I had a cleaning job, it worked out well for Leon to take the kids to the water park for some play time.  I met up with them later.

 They thought the swans were very interesting until one decided to get too close with what looked like the intention of taking a bite out of Trey!

 Then they ran pell mell back to the play ground.

 Doesn't this look like fun?  It's new since I'd been there last.  It's a pirate ship play ground with dolphins to ride. The kids thought it was pretty neat.  It spurred their imaginations but we didn't spend much time on it t, as it was so hot & the kids had been outside for long enough.

After getting ice cream cones, we headed home and the kids went to work baking me a birthday cake!
They didn't want me to watch or help, told me I should go take a bubble bath and a nap!  I wasn't quite brave enough to leave them totally on their own but I did stay out of the kitchen and gave the phone to Kaela with instructions to call her sister if she had questions!

 I couldn't resist taking some pictures tho....
We did have a funny moment when I overheard the phone call of "what do I do now" and I peeked in the kitchen and noticed that she was pouring the batter into the cake pans however she'd NOT added the cake mix in with the oil, water & eggs!!  Opps!!

 While the cake was cooling I went and took a nap while they decorated.  They wouldn't let me come down-stairs until they had it all done.

It was supper time, but we had cake and ice cream anyway--
after all, it's Grammies house, they're on vacation & we're making memories!

Sweet memories

The photo on this page has remained one of my very favorites of Laura.  She was about 4 years old here.   I can still remember her running in the house, all smiles with a bouquet of dandelions she'd picked for me.  Remember your favorite pink corduroy overalls Laura?  You crawled into them every chance you got, and wore them totally out!

A random snapshot-

A forever memory

Any moms out there with small children?

Trust me.

I know how busy you are,

How frustrated you get

How there's not enough time

or money

I know how much laundry you have to do,

How dirty or cluttered your house gets.

I know how you just get one mess cleaned up and there

behind you is three more.

I know how miserable it is when you have sick kids

I know how difficult it is when YOU are sick and have kids.

I know how many meals you have to make, and how you just get one meal 

cleaned up from and it's time to make the next.

I know how you can't be on the phone, the computer or in the bathroom for a minute

before someone starts hollering for you, fighting, or disaster strikes.

I know how tired you can be and how much sleep you miss.

I know alot more than just this too.

I know how fast 30 years goes.

I know how many things really don't matter.

It's like being in labor.

You think you can't do it,

It's going to never be over--

Until that baby is placed in your arms

And you know how much it was worth it,

and time dims the memory of the pain.

And one day somehow you find yourself

in a far away place.

Somewhere you never expected to be

Because you never imagined your child there

Saying goodbye.

And realizing....

In spite of everything

They grow up 

in the blink of an eye.

Realizing that you don't remember

the work you left undone;

but  you remember moments

that you took the time to love.  

To play, to hug,

To read, to be silly.

To let them be little,

To let them sleep in the middle.

And to exclaim over a small dandelion boquet

cluched in grubby sweet little hands

by a barefooted, tousel headed little child

who just tracked mud all thru the house.

Again.

Who left the door open for the flies to come in,

and the toddler to escape out.

Again.

Who woke up the baby you just got to sleep

Again.

with a joyful cry of
"Look what I brought you mommy!"

Happy 30th Birthday Laura--With Love from your Mama

27 years ago

 Mothers day, May 13, 1984 after a lovely day spent with Leon and our 4 girls, my grandparents & mother at my in-laws house, Baby #5 decided it was time to come on the scene.
At 2:15 in the morning, Monday May 14  we welcomed our first son into our family.
Derek was our 2nd homebirth but he was in a hurry, and didn't wait for our midwife to arrive.
She had a 3 hr. drive from her house from ours, and although we called her at the first sign, She arrived an hour after he was born.
Leon was initiated into the role of "midwife" without a whole lot of prep time!

Now this year he helped his own little guy celebrate his 1st birthday already!

 (April, 2011)

Happy Happy Birthday son-- We're wishing you the best year ever ahead!

She's 16-

She's Beautiful-

and she's mine.  (well, ours-on loan anyway)

Meshayla turned 16 back in September.  Sixteenth birthdays seem like quite a milestone, and it's always fun to do something special.
Our convention is in September, and also I was leaving on my trip in September and Morgen and Meshayla were both going to stay with their older sister  in Sidney while I was gone and somehow we needed to squeeze a birthday celebration into the month too.  When I found out that all the kids were going to be able to come to York this year along with the advantage of it being a holiday on Monday after, we started making plans for a surprise party for Meshayla on Sunday night.
I might add that it's very hard to pull a surprise off in this family--too many people, SOMETHING or SOMEONE always slips up.

Well, this is true except when you intend for everyone to know something and assume that they do, then SOMEONE DIDN'T find out when they were suppose to.  (Note--don't ever assume)

Anyway, amazingly no one let it slip, and we pulled off the surprise party.  Amazing.  As was the cake that Lynisha made and brought with her, leaving it here at the house on their way to York.

Meshayla and her "twin-cousin" Rebecca have celebrated their birthdays together since they were 3 years old.  This year Rebecca is living in AZ, and so she wasn't here on their birthdays.
When she came back on her school break the girls got to spend some time together, and took a whole bunch of pictures of the two of them (with help from Morgen.)

Here's a few of my favorites they took.

To celebrate their birthday together, my sis and I took the girls on a girls day out to shop & eat before Rebecca went back to AZ

Happy happy 16th year to both of you!

  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥