"If only I knew"

This is the title of a little book of quotes that I found some years ago.

One of my first and biggest "resolutions" for this year was to do some major scrapbooking.  I have many pages done that need to be placed in albums, but I have even more photos that are mostly sorted and just waiting in boxes or in pocket albums waiting to be scrapbooked. (As I write this, it sounds very repetitious.  I really didn't copy & paste,  haha!  it's an on-going goal and yes, I've accomplished quite a bit so far already this year)

I scrapbook for several reasons.  To preserve the photos is probably one of the minor ones.  I scrapbook for memories.  For mine and for my children's. To remember. I scrapbook for ME. Because it fulfills something within me, creatively & emotionally.

Today I came accross photos of one of my son's 1st. birthday party.  Mostly the photos are of him, with cake, with presents.  There are several with his sisters in it, looking on & "helping" baby brother.
I realized with sadness, there are none of him with his dad or I. None with his brother. None of him with his grandparents, who very faithfully attended & helped celebrate all of my kid's birthdays.
However, I discovered one photo, a close up of him examining a present, and off to the side, in the background, obviously not intended to be a "part" of the picture is his Great Grandpa.

I realized back when I had first went thru and sorted these pictures, that the photo, however in-intentional was the last photo that I have with son and his great grandpa.  It was the last birthday party of his great grandkids that he ever got to attend, as he passed away just 2  months later.

It brings tears to my eyes now thinking of this, because I realize so much more now, looking back on those years that yes, pictures of birthday cake & presents are fun, but it's the people in our lives that grow and change....and leave.  It's the relationships that really meant something, not the forgotten toy or the devoured cake.

It's the reason now that when I take pictures of a child's birthday, I always try to remember to include some shots with parents. Grandparents, Siblings.

I went to find my little book and read thru it. (and remembered yet another scrapbook that is on my "list of want to make")

The title of the book is "If Only I knew"  by Lance Wubbels.

A couple of my favorite quotes that mean alot to me in this book are as follows:

"If Only I Knew".....

This was the last time...the very last time...I would see you, I would take the time to treasure everything about you.

.......I could never share another day with you, I would make the most of every second.

......That I was caught in the trap of living for tomorrow and a future that existed only in my imagination, I would have slowed my pace, drawn boundaries around my work, and taken time for the people I love.

.......That even a child's days are sometimes cut short, I would wish for more long nights of rocking you to sleep.

......That when God closes a door, He opens another.  I would have been less afraid of change and more welcoming of new opportunities and adventures.

And I love how it sums up my feelings about scrapbooking....

"If Only I knew...that my memories of you would be so precious, I would take the time to carefully gather your life story."

The Author writes: 
"Think about it.  Don't allow the regrets of "if only I knew" to be the final marker of your life.  Be swift to love.  Hurry to be kind.  Take the time to make someone feel special.  Freely give hugs & kisses & may "I love you" be often on your lips."



And a last word from my perspective--I love photography, I love beautiful, creative & "perfect" photos. I've had a camera in my hand since my grandpa first gave me a "brownie box camera" when I was about 10. I've had good cameras, cheap ones, bad ones, learned some "how to", applied some of it, simply used Automatic & snapped on most of them. (And I am in no way discounting personal or professional photographers!)  Don't wait for perfection--the lack of a "good" camera.  The lack of knowledge.  Just take the picture!!   It's not the quality of the photograph that will matter in the end, it's the record. We can be pretty disappointed or annoyed about how the photo turned out, but I promise you that 25 years down the road when you pull that dusty out of focus, off centered, discolored photo from wherever you had it stored, that it will be precious!