Our Mothers/Ourselves

I really had to laugh this morning when I checked on Lynisha's blog for updates, and found this post!
Of course first glance I wondered what kind of crazy picture she had posted of me now, but then realized what she had done!
Within our family we have alot of very similar looks. My sisters and I (especially Luanne) get alot of comments. Some very funny...some very comically stupid, like the clerk in Menards who when seeing Luanne and I together at her check-out register, took one look and said "Oh my Gosh", Are you two twins"? We laughed and said "no". Her reply was "ARE YOU SURE"????!!! LOL!!!!
When we worked together in the scrapbook store often we would get mistaken for each other. One day a customer would come in and talk to one of us, then another day come back and start talking to the other one of us about what was discussed before. Then being a little confused because we had no idea what they were referring to, realized they had talked to the "other one".
We would say, no it wasn't me you talked to, and often they would end up replying "OH! I didn't realize there were two of you"!! At convention someone came up to Luanne and I and said "Even if one knows your names, how do they know which one is which?"
Usually we don't think we look that much alike, but others must see it more than we do. And, there is the funny moment of looking at a picture of the other and seeing ourself.
Often, seeing my sister and some of MY girls together, people think they are sisters.
My Mother used to get mistaken for being a sister to us 3 girls too, and I'm sure she appreciated it, although that doesn't happen now, I'm sure given some more years on us, it's likely to again.
On the other hand, it's not especially funny when I get mistaken for my sister's mother...which has happened in the past too...(I'm sure they weren't really serious...LOL!!!)

Anyway I digressed a bit from my original thought, which was really the thought of "becoming like our mother". As I commented on my daughters post, I remember someone telling of a coffee mug she had seen that said "I have now officially became my mother".
I find that happening quite often as I get older, and have for some time. Sometimes it distresses me, other times I am amused.
What is there about becoming like our Mothers, that distresses us? It's not that we don't love them or admire them, or aspire to have some of the same qualities. Maybe it's partly the realization of the passing of time, the circle of life, and the fact that we want to be an individual.
Maybe because of the closeness between Mother/Daughter we tend to be more critical and see the faults that we don't want to acquire. I realize this is not true for everyone, and that is wonderful. I'm quite sure that there are daughters out there, who would love to be like their mothers.

Let me insert here, that any of my dear son-in-laws or potential ones who may be reading this, would you kindly refrain from rude comments, because I realize quite well that you are thinking "OH, NO!--Please don't let my wife/girl-friend be like her Mother"!!!!!!!!!! Although I have stated I want comments on my blog, you may be excused from this one, Thank you very much!!

Once at a large family gathering at the table, we shared who we most admired and would like to be most like. Sometimes it's easy to be a little glib about that, and some of the thoughts were rather amusing, but it does make a person stop and think.
There are qualities I very much admire about my grown children and I will be the first to admit, I don't think they got them from me!
There are qualities I very much admire about my Mother.
But the person I have the most admiration for (in my family) is my Grandma Ruth. I'm quite sure that she also had her faults, just like any of the rest of us, but maybe it's the generation thing that makes us more blind to our grandparents faults & see their virtues better?
Above everything else, I think it was her patience and attitude that I admire the most. With my grandpa, with her grandkids & with her great-grandkids!
I'll give you one little "picture" of my grandmother.
My grandpa died in the spring, and at Thanksgiving time our family gathering was in Nevada at my sisters house. My Mom flew to AZ first, then was heading to NV with my sister & brother & families. That left Leon and I, 7 children and my grandmother to travel together in a mini-van. (yes, that was before seatbelt/car seat laws...!!!) Never having enough time or money for leisurely travel, we headed out for our 1200 mile, drive straight-through trip. The weather & road conditions in the states between Nebraska and NV can quite "iffy" in November, but considering the fact that Mom left earlier than we did & was flying, and we made it to NV at nearly the same time she made it to AZ, (which is pretty much the same distance) was quite a feat!
Anyway, picture us-- 3 grownups, 7 children, luggage all stuffed in a van for 1200 miles. Somewhere in the mountains of Colorado, around 2 a.m. we stop at a rest-area. Rest rooms at the top of a fairly long, snow covered slope, snow falling, and my dear 80 yr old grandma without a word of complaint, then (or the whole trip) removes the child sleeping on her lap, crawls out past 3 more, (plus who knows what all piled on the floor) down the high step of the van, into the cold, snowy, slick weather, up the hill to the restrooms, back again & settles herself in for another (???) miles.
That's made me stop and think many times. I'm sure it was far from comfortable for her. She fit in, she didn't complain. She wanted to be with all of us, so she put up with it all. She never ever acted like she expected anyone to cater to her, although I'm quite certain that she had her own wishes, and maybe would have liked things to be different!
So, I'm a work in progress. Hopefully, Maybe... even tho my children groan at the thought of "becoming their mother," my grandchildren will be able to have at least a little of the admiration towards me that I have towards the memory of my grandma!